do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
