There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
