can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
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