So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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