So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize