are you still at the devil's house?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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