I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
