Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
