This is not my ceiling
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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