Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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