he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
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I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
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Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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