remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
