You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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