But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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