you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
