I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Of course I have a pirate flag
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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