Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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