i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My penis needs a shock collar
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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