You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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