Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
