rhymes with "ouble enetration"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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