some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
