Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Mom said you looked used
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
