I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
