i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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