these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
