what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
