Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
