haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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