so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
