i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
