check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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