Don't make out with my wife yet
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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