Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
