while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
