Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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