I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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