I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
