yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He did a backflip because drugs
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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