Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize