I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
