all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
