I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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