i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
