I wish I could punch you in the face.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
We named our party play list daddy issues
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
