At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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