Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
