so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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