Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
