I CAN MOONWALK!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
