if you like me you must not know who I am
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
