I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
