I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
