so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
