My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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