Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize