did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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