No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
