idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I think people are normalizing furries
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