I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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