i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize