You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
