Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
