Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
