Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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